Lifelong Love | Being For Your Spouse | Session 1
Marriage Retreat 2024 | Lifelong Love
Friday Evening| Session #1 | Being For Your Spouse
“God knows you didn’t marry someone who is always easy to love. He gets that marriage isn’t always easy. But His remedy isn’t to make your spouse perfect. His plan is to help you learn to love an imperfect person out of reverence for a perfect God.” Gary Thomas- a Lifelong Love
Lifelong Love, for the Christian, is the plan for marriage. One man, one woman, one lifetime.
Think about the vows you made to each other.
There was nothing temporary or conditional about them.
It was the beginning of a new journey together.
Then you got home from your honeymoon and the enemy had a new goal.
To pit you against each other and pull you away from God.
Why does that matter to Satan? Our marriages represent the relationship between Christ and the Church to the world around us that they might also become sons and daughters of God and be in heaven with us!
There is a real battle going on here, but our enemy doesn’t get the last word. He is the father of lies, a loser, and literally hell-bent on taking you down. And he’s pretty good at it.
Thankfully our God is for us!
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31 NIV
What are “these things”?
He chose you. God wants you in heaven and has made a way for you.
“There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.” v. 1
He died for you. You are a child of God.
“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.” v. 14
He leads you. You are called for a purpose.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” v. 28
He lives within you. The Spirit of God intercedes (advocates) for you.
“And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you” v. 11
“If God is for us”, we can be, should be, and are called to be for our spouse.
“I can never begin to repay God for what He has done for me. But I can love His daughter well.”
Gary Thomas- a Lifelong Love
What does God being for us look like? How does that translate to us being for our spouse?
He adores you. Another way is to say that God likes you!
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39 ESV
How often do I say to or show my spouse that I like them?
We can breath life into our spouse by reminding them what we like about them.
He serves you. He sacrifices of Himself so you are free to give to others.
“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45 ESV
Do I put the needs of my spouse ahead of my own needs?
We can find little ways to lighten our spouses load and give them what they want.
He encourages you. He wants you to know you’re good enough.
“I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:9-10
Am I regularly letting my spouse know I am with them and that I am behind them?
We can speak truth over each other to counteract the lies the enemy would have us believe.
He empathizes with you. He understands you and loves you despite your faults and shortcomings.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” Hebrews 4:15 NIV
Can I focus on what my spouse is going through more than where they are falling short?
We can disagree with each others responses, while at the same time feeling their pain.
All motivated by His love for you, even in your sin.
“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:6-8
“Evil, sin in our spouse cannot be excused, but it can be understood. This however is not permission for anyone to explain away their spouses abusive behavior. Even as God loves us and forgives us, there are consequences for our actions.” Gary Thomas- a Lifelong Love
Decisions you and I make affect those closest to us. They impact the ones we love the most.
“You have all you need for a lifelong love. You have, first and foremost, the love of God in Christ. You also have a spouse who God calls you to love. As you offer your marriage in service to Him, continue to do good, bless your husband or wife, and let your marriage be a source of strength for you and the world around you.”
Gary Thomas- a Lifelong Love
Discussion Questions for the two of you:
- Over the course of your life how have you experienced God being for you?
- Over the course of your marriage how have you experienced God being for you both?
- What family and friends have been most supportive and encouraging to your marriage?
- What are the things your spouse says or does for you that reminds you they are for you?
- Spend some time, each of you on your own, thinking and praying about the questions in the adore, serve, encourage, & empathize parts on the previous pages.